Scene, London.

Scene I.

On one side an Upholsterer's

shop, with the name

“Morris and Co.” over the door:

on the other side a Grocer's

shop.

Enter First Young Wardle,

carrying a roll of parchment:

he goes into the upholsterer's

shop.

1 ^st Y. Ward. O Papa, I've

fetched the deed of part-

nership which Mr Morris

sent to be copied.

Wardle ( from within) Give

it here, my boy. Mr. Morris

will soon be back from St. Jame's Hall.

Enter Second Young Wardle:

he goes into the grocer's shop.

2 ^nd Y. Ward: If you please,

my Mamma wants a pound

of your best Coffee.

Grocer (from within) Yes, Sir.

Scene closes, as Third Young

Wardle is seen going towards

a chemist's shop in the distance.

Scene II. St James's Hall

Topsy is discovered lecturing on Architectural

Restoration.

Topsy (reads.) “Our forefathers

had thus reared for us, with

superhuman labour, temples

worthy of Christian worship,—

nay, almost worthy in themselves of some

portion of that homage which

the worshippers “ themselves”—

(aside through his teeth, “I can't

ever have really written rot like this!”—

turns the pages to skip, but

finding he cannot, goes on.)

—which the worshippers them-

selves bestowed on that

Power which alone could have

inspired such mighty achieve-

ments.” (aside as before, “I

knew that damned Ned has

stuck it in!”, goes on,)—

“Little could those great yet

humble ones have dreamed

that a too puffed-up posterity—”

(scratches the seat of his

trousers and looks uneasily at the

curtains behind him.) “would

have devoted all their efforts

only to the defacement of the noble structures bequeathed

to their keeping by godlike

minds and hands.” (aside

through the curtain, “I say,

Ned, damn you.”

E. Burne-Jones ( from behind curtain.)

I didn't do it, Top: you wrote

it yourself. It's very bad, but

go on, or the audience will

hiss.

( Topsy goes on, lurching a

good deal, and at last concludes

amid great applause:

he bows and goes behind

curtain.)

Topsy. I say, Ned, mustn't they

just be fools? I'll pay you

out another time, but I

must get down to the

Wardles, as I said I'd

take tea there.

E. Burne Jones. They always

take coffee.

Topsy. O do they? Will you come?

E. Burne Jones. No thank you.

I say, Top, one of the workmen has chalked a large T on your

back.

Topsy. Well, damn you, why

don't you rub it out? (They

have now reached the door,

and E. B. J. bolts

down the street.)

Scene III

A Private Apartment. Wardle

and Madeline seated at a

table with cups saucers &c.

Madeline. Is the deed signed?

Wardle. Yes.

A crash without. Enter Topsy.

Top. I say, I'm very sorry, but

I was laying down my hat

on a chair outside, & somehow

my hand went through it.

Madeline. O pray don't mention

it, Mr Morris, it's of no consequence.

Top. (to Wardle.) By the bye, old

chap, Ned told me just now

that some one had chalked

a T on my back. ( tries to

see it. ) Do you see it?

Wardle. No of course.

Top. Blow that Ned! ( aside)

I should ( aside between his

teeth .) I should like to tread

his guts out.

Wardle. He hasn't got any.

Top. O I say, talk about guts!

what's become of mine?

(He stands up, and taking the

quartern loaf from the table,

stuffs it into the waistband

of his trousers to show his thinness how much room

there is, — then pulls

it out again and puts it back on

the plate.) There now just you mind

you don't call me fat any more.

Wardle. I never did,— I

always thought you a fine figure.

Madeline. Mr. Morris, you're

just in time for a cup of coffee letting your coffee get cold.

George dear, hand the cup.

Top. ( taking cup from Wardle.)

All right, old chap. ( drinks.)

Hullo! How can I have the gripes

now that I've got no belly? Hullo!

Blow! ( dies.)

Scene III IV

Same as in Scene I

---

(Wardle places a ladder

against the upholsterer's

shop, and mounting it, erases the name of Morris

and substitutes Wardle & Co.)

First Cabman (passing.) Hi!

Who's the Co.?

Second Cabman (passing.)

Why, Coffee, in course.

Topsy is carried out on a

stretcher, while Stennett

is seen [?] passing at the head of a funeral;

he stops and gazes

intently. . Old

Brown goes by on the top

of an omnibus, & turning

around, stares in stupefaction

at the altered name over

the door.

Emma (from inside the omnibus.)

Did you see that, Ford?

Old B. Yes, Emma. ( He

raises his eyes and hands to heaven .)

(The Ghost of Warington Taylor is

heard rapping at a Medium's door.)

Ghost of Taylor. Topsy you fool,

come along, here's a chance

for you. Split on 'em through

that table, & let 'em catch

it as they deserve.

Ghost of Topsy. Get out, it's

beastly rot. Do you think

I'll I'm going to believe in such bosh bogies

merely because I'm a bogy one myself?

And besides, you don't suppose,

you idiot, that I'd talk

through a blowed table

of such a damned shape

as that! ( Indulges in

language after his kind. )

Mrs Guppy. That is the very

lowest class of spirit of

which I ever had experience.

May not the essence of

such misused humanity

rank even below the

[?] soulless beasts that

perish? Who shall say?

Well, he is gone, my friends,

—I dread to think whither.

( She turns to the table .)

Shelley, are you there?

Ghost of Percy Bysshe Shelley.

• Hi diddle diddle
• The Cat & the fiddle.

Mrs Guppy. Hush, my friends,

now indeed we shall hear

something.

( Curtain.)