The letter contains the only known copy of DGR dramatic skit
The letter was printed for the first (and only) time in
Your letter is perfectly insane. If a foold (sic
in original) won't buy, try a fool. But meanwhile come down here. It
won't be the least use waiting for Graham, who will think all the more of you if
you are away when he calls and I'm sure he won't be able to call yet. As to
Topsy's opinion on my health, it instantly conjured up a drama which I subjoin—
Scene—Queen Square
Table Laid.
Alarums. Excursions. Morris discovered ringing a bell with
violence. Enter Brown.
B. How are you Morris? Have you heard how Gabriel is?
M. (dancing) I wish to God Gabriel —no I mean the cook—was
in Hell! Don't you Janey dear? Damn blast &c. &c. Oh ah!
Don't you know? Gabriel's all right again. Damn blast &c.
&c. Of course you'll stay to dinner old chap. I don't know though if
we're to have any. Janey dear, it's all your fault. Damn blast &c.
&c.—
Dinner brought in.
Janey. (carving) Haven't you heard from Gabriel, Mr. Brown?
Morris. (nudging her, in a whining tone) Why Janey dear,
that's the bit I always have. You know Brown doesn't like it.
Janey. 0 I'm very sorry, dear. Here it is. Will you have the other too? What were you saying, Mr. Brown?
Brown. I thought Morris might have heard from Gabriel.
Morris. (who has been helped) Oh ah! Gabri-obble obble—
Gabri -uuch uuch—Gabri —obble obble obble obble—
(Morris eats. Tableau)
You really must come you know. The weather's splendid and we should be as jolly as possible. I would recite to you all the ignominious rhymes I have made on Scotus and I would make some on you too.
P.S. Miss Boyd says you're to come.